But physically, not so good. I'm doing full shifts for 2 consecutive days, but thankfully after that, I'll be on a long deserving leave. Movies have been great lately, too many must-watch coming ahead. Yesterday I caught Body of Lies. Funnily all of us wore black, macam paham. Thank you and I love you, Faiz, Taufik and Lifa! :)

I had to read the above a couple of times before I can understand it, and believe it. Because I once had hatred in me, against someone I once loved. Till today, I'm not even sure if I still have that negativity towards him. To be honest, sometimes I do, at other times I don't. I tried loving this same person like before, but it felt never the same. They say, the only person who can mend a broken heart, is the one that broke it. He has yet to do that, but I forgive him. I'm not bend on repiecing back whatever that's broken. Bad things only happen because we deserve it or because it is there to teach us to become a stronger person.


And then I asked myself, again, do I really want the truth even if I demand for it?

I know! I'm as shocked as you are; and like any other kepo-ter, I downloaded that file. I thought someone just purposely used that file name, but no, the song sounded as if it was really sang by him! Afterwhich, I decided to Google-d it. So it is true, Michael Jackson's now a Muslim and he goes by the name of Mikaeel. He had tajen interest in the religion after asking lots of question about it from his brother Jermaine.



Looking at the picture above, reminds me of how he use to hide his children. Look again(little fellow in yellow), he's still doing the same! What a crazy life MJ lead before, his makeover, his 'playground', and remember him dangling a baby or something? Apparently, his friends David Wharnsby, a Canadian songwriter, and Phillip Bubal, a producer, are converts who talked to hima bout their beliefs and how they thought they had become better people after they converted. I guess, MJ saw the warmth in it.

Ok wait, this news here, have you heard of it already? Coz if you did, damn I'm slow.

I've tolerated just about enough and if I choose to still keep mum about whatever that is happening, I might just swallow retard pills, and be complete retard about it. Honey if my company/time/attention is only needed when your other half is not there to give you all the love in the world, then go kiss some goat's ass because you make a great jackass.

On another note, it's crazy how I'm trying my best to stop trying any further and how I can be imagining doing the many things I know I shouldn't do at the same time. I can't help it. Ok no, I can but I just don't want to. Whatever this is, I know I'm not ready to lose it, just not right now, just not yet. Perhaps I've allowed this to be a part of my everyday routine and hence, the thought of losing this routine, distrupts my emotions in a way. Maybe, this is an amendment. Maybe, just maybe, this isn't as special as it seems at this very moment of time. Maybe I am really better like this, wavering till I can waver no more. Maybe this feeling could just be a spur of the moment and that if I wait long enough, this moment would pass me by and everything will go back to wherever it was before.

Nuff said.

I used to believe someone's happiness is another person's sadness. Now, I don't think it's all true. Because right where my life's at now, I'm gay(and loved), too. This is what I truly feel at this very moment of time and I would like to remind myself of this feeling at any point of time because this feeling never fail to paste a smile on my face. I felt that I'm ready to be feeling like this again, to be able to look forward to something so joyful and smilling myself silly after it's all been done. All the tomorrows might not be as what I've imagined them to be but fearing tomorrow today is definately a waste of time because tomorrow have even yet to arrive.

And, it doesn't take a beautiful person to fall in love with another beautiful and then create all the beautiful memories in all the beautiful ways that we can only dream of. Because everyone have the right to fall in love with just anybody they set their eyes upon and everyone have an equal right to be loved by someone that might have seemed to be 'out of their own league'.

In brief; Mickey's Secret Garden, The Kite Runner & Maltesers and Casio!

How I'm being mentioned in other blogs:


Somehow, I'm always a moron to some people, really. LOL.


Awwwww, it's time you surprise me. :)


& my favourite, because I shamefully alter ego-ed myself as Posh!

It's easy to lift someone's hope high, even in unintentional situations, but it will take a while before that hope dies out. Sometimes it is not that we don't want to give up and it is not that we want to keep on hoping for the impossible but it is that we can't stop ourselves from trying. Hence no matter what we do, I think it is best to draw a line so as to avoid even the littlest damage possible. Note to self: Start drawing that line.

I've missed reading terribly, back then train rides to school was accompanied with reading and music. But now, bus rides suck. I can't read in the bus; motion sickness. Sidetracking, earlier, I'm very confident the lady beside me in the bus was kepo-ing at the text messages I'm sending, I could just feel her eyes somewhere next to me. Anyways, visit to Page One made me wanna start reading again. Oh Paolo Coelho, I feel like getting his collection. Not forgetting Sandra Brown & Nora Roberts, kinky.

& tomorrow Marche treat. Life is good.

Journey back home in the bus was an absolute comedy. The China girl next to me was swaying aimlessly in her sleep, and her sways were, emm very major. In other words, I was like her swaying bag. But more importantly, she had an odour. I couldn't stop smiling to myself like a total retard, reminds me of Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. I mean, why am I always in an uninvited situation in the bus. Like 2 days ago, I was in the same bus with a group of ahbengs, but they're like the extra young ones, in their teens. They had longs nails, blasted Chinese songs from the mobiles and they speak extra loud. It's annoying how one of them kept shaking the seat. I pitied the girl who's sleeping on the seat next to it. These boys were sitting in front of me, so basically I could see and hear everything. Perhaps Ashraf's right, I'm always unlucky in the bus.

Adam said he met my true love in camp today, Faiz. Joke! "You're the one who always go out with Dayana right?" That was how Adam recognised Faiz, and the fact that his eyebrows is different from other boys. Faiz urged me to buy Toto, as he thinks Adam's jealous. If I laughed, I might've choked.

Today's such a funny day. & Mat Reppp, I hope you were just sleeping like a log.

Tomorrow, shopping with Cheris!

You see, this smell's like a good week. :)

I was devastated at first that I had no one to watch HSM3 with me, but not for now! Sings, "We're all in this together..." And Tropic Thunder, one helluva of a movie. Seriously, Tom Cruise?

Since Bernie is serving the nation soon, I've demanded Jen to be extra nice to me. Dammit, today at work, we were such assholes; being at each others' head. She calls me stupid for the doing the things she asked me to do(it's a long story). The fact that we're physically almost similar makes it even more annoying.

I don't wanna ball out what I feel about you, because I feel I've said my piece, more than enough times already, but it seems that you don't listen. And truth be told, it is really frustrating to want to be nice to you but yet can't because my niceness will be wrongly interpreted. Really, I'm not bend on repiecing back whatever that was broken, I'm aware now that when things are broken, no matter how I repiece it, it'll never be the same as it was before. Everything happens for a reason. Therefore, memories, good or bad, are for keeps. Or just maybe, this is just your game I'm playing. :)

Allright, where do I start. Yes, Halloween! I had fun dressing up, I was a devil and pumpkin. Not a combi, just on 2 separate occasions(visuals soon). The fact that Singapore is not so big on Halloween, customers double-looked at us as if we had bananas as our noses. And I had to remind them politely, "Happy Halloween!" so as to cut the stares shorter. Clarke Quay was full of pirates, devils, angels, geishas etc on that Friday night; felt as if I was at Elm Street.


Tjut Aja Rosalia turned 20 with a bang, we came knocking; nah banging to be exact thanks to Vina, on her door at I think 1203am. Her reaction, priceless! It was a first time for her, and a first time for me too. I never did knock at someone's door so late in the night, and making so much noise(asking for a whack from the ones who's sleeping). Anyways this birthday girl is extra special to me. I still remember how I told a friend that, "Wah this girl's butt power." during poly's orientation. Next thing I know, we're classmates and Iwasthisclosetoher. It's annoying how we kept ending each others' sentences, fucking jinx. Still, we saw each other grow up, and that we became very different people today. And dey, that's why I love you.


And then, went shopping with if-you-think-he's-my-boyfriend-he's-not(he puts his arms around me not to make me feel good/special, but to rest it). He calls me lovely only when I do nice things to him. Who's the basket now Faiz? Sidetracking, it's frustrating how Orchard is going through renovation, so many at a time. You know, usually they have roadshows and stuff, and music is blast just to catch the attention of many(isn't it pointless, you can't hear nuts when the promoter's talking to you) and that sometimes the music played has no link to whatever product that was being promoted. Picture this, music: Get Low, product: UOB credit card. *slaps forehead* Ok as I was saying, you put these loud music and the drilling/knocking/toppling of the renovation works togethers, what do you get? Over-worked eardrums.

Ahhhhhhhh. And I hate being around Marina/Esplanade area on a Saturday. You can safely scream, "Hello bazaar Ramadhan!(fasting month)" Just too many Malays, I won't even elaborate just how many of them can be found there. The fact that they are just hanging around; literally standing/squatting around, is not a nice sight. I mean, Esplanade is a place for the arts/tourists/visitors etc, and to see such commotion is not flattering at all. I'm not saying that they can't go there, just that, do the right things when you're there kids. Ok nuff said.

Movie Coffin was such a disappointment, the facts were great but the plot wasn't strong enough. Afterwhich at supper, I laughed like there's no tomorrow. I'm thankful for the company, thank you so much, Mat Repppppp.

Finally, everybody's talking about High School Musical 3! My store's playing the non-stop dance remix of the soundtracks, kinda clubbish for the kids.