Girls/Ladies/Women, one of the many tasks you need to be able to do to tell whether you're mommy material; disciplining children. My everyday life is surrounded by children; both home and work. So shame on you Dayana, if you fail to handle kids well.

It's like this, I'm pretty bothered by the kids my mom's babysitting. After the Britney's song saga(they pointed out the F-U-C-K for me), I constantly hear them saying it again, and again at home. Like any other parent, I'll ask, "Where the fuck in the world did they learn that from?" I mean hey, I only learnt of that very bad word(then) when I was like, 12 I think. I still remember when WWE was the in thing, there's this wrestler(can't remember his stage name), who had this alter ego act and he'll scream Suck It! Anyways, I'm sure all of you know the Mickey Mouse song, so today the youngest and the cutest kinda like put the F-U-C-K in it. My instant reaction was to give her a tight slap. While some might think it's not appropriate(since she's not my child), I guess that was my first step in telling them that such word cannot be tolerated in the house, and especially at their age. I've given them verbal warnings earlier, but it doesn't seem to work.

Every child loves a reward, so I used this tactic before as well, "If you don't behave, I won't bring you out." But then again, it has a short term effect.

I wonder, what are kids doing in school today? Besides the fact that they're already owning tech-gadgets, they are picking up the wrong things too. Have you seen/heard of primary school kids shuffling? And what about the smaller version of a typical malay mat, mini-mats to be precise; you see them in skinnies and trucker caps, and the way they walk/talk, macam my father own him money like that. Blame it on tv and internet, wide exposure isn't good for kids afterall. Look at High School Musical, don't you think it's not that good of a show for kids(though it's by Disney)? I have really young girls saying they like High School Musical because of Troy; coz he's cute. Anyways, what I'm saying is that parents should have a good overview of what their kids are exposed to.

Back to my own issue, I'm really good at entertaining kids; like almost becoming a clown for them. But I'm still learning to understand them. Havings 3 kids at home is becoming a nightmare already. Though talking to them is the best solution, it's not as easy as you think.

Holly. At the birthday party today, this girl was testing really my patience; she made this very annoying nyeh-nyeh sound to my very catchy birthday conga(I wanted to throw in the storeroom for making fun of my song like that), she screamed at me for a sticker; when I refused, she let out her palm and demanded one from(what a tiny ass right?) and she wanted to do everything first(instead of the birthday girl). Then all of a sudden, she became all touchy, she kept hugging and following me wherever I go. She screams "Dada!"(I guess she can't read my name) and makes a very slap-able face. When all the other kids were eating cakes, she came up to talk to me instead. And before she left the store, she hugged me and said, "Thank you, I love my bear." Ok now go, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Kids, there's this magical touch in them.

Nuff said, goodnight kiddos.

This is just too overwhelming, though it makes me feel good, I'm not really handling it well. It's nice to have this tingly feeling of having butterflies the stomach, but if it's just too much, you might want it to stop. But then again, when it really does stop, you ask yourself, "Where did I go wrong?" I don't wish to put down to words what I want out of all this now, coz it'll be senseless if what's gonna happen be otherwise. Just maybe, I'm thinking too much over what shouldn't be thought so much about. Just maybe, I've wavered enough. Just maybe, my hope is dying out.

Just maybe, I'm still stuck in reverse.

"All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to f-u-c-k me." This line in Britney's If You See Amy, was unbelievably pointed out by the kids at home. Yes really, I am not joking. I guess this is the right time to talk about these kids that my mom babysits. Sometimes, I'm not really proud of them, I don't know where they pick up things they shouldn't be picking up. :(

Nadirah aka Kakak; the not-so-good-looking one & the one who's being bullied. I first saw her when she's just six months old, and she's still growing up. She knows me best, whether I'm in a good mood or not, but irritatingly, she still doesn't get the things she should be getting at her age.

Nasri aka Abang; the ultimate annoyance, the bully and the who-knows-it-all. He's the reason why I'm always screaming in the morning. Boys will be boys, he's very playful and cunning, but he knows how to get into my good books. Look at his dimples, he'll grow up looking so fine. First, his knucklehead needs some cracking first.

Nazerah aka Baby; the cutest, smelliest and most obedient one. Pathetically, she's the one who's always left at home, yes she didn't get to go for the movie. Once she steps into my house and sees that I'm not in my room, she'll go, "Mana nana(Where nana)?". This one, still trying very hard to get her spelling tests all right.

There you go, the bunch that keeps my house alive and kicking.

I'm a Pawsome Party Leader! Christmas Dinner over at Bakerzin was fun-filled, put a bunch over over-enthusiastic Bear Builders, you get kiddy havoc! Poppers, horns, party hats and masks, it was an absolute kid's party. I just can't stop smiling now, really, besides the $50 voucher, I brought home Disney Princesses diaries, HSM accesories, BABW velcro-strap(wth?) watches and lots of candies! Tonight's Shake & Howdy was, if you were a candy what would it be and why. Across the table, there were Mentos, Kit Kat, gummy bears, marshmellows etc. "If I was a candy, I'd like to be Nin Jiom Pei Pa Kow! Coz I appeal to both the young and old!" Go Dayana, go.

I'm liking the days ahead, goodnight readers.

I'm pretty much clueless as to where exactly I should start writing on.

Allright, it happened not once; I'm not good when it comes to conveying my feelings verbally. I know everytime I opened up to someone, I either stumble on my words or hold back and end up saying only half of what I trully wanted to. It's fustrating whenever I think about the other things I didn't get to say but never seem to be able to cause I'm just never good at expressing myself to anybody at all. That's one flaw I'm not proud of myself. But no, it's definitely not an excuse of being cowardly to things that matter and should be said upfront and be heard by the person/people that matter. Whatever had happened shouldn't even take place at all, but at that point of time, it was my assumptions that got the better of me, and everything was out. Funnily, I wanted to act all adult and face the reality of it, and I'm glad I did. I wanted to avoid affecting people and/or getting affected, really. We've said our piece; I'll walk on, I'll cherish the todays(as memories are for keeps) and I'll not anticipate the tomorrows(for if it's not what I/you/we thought it'd be, the memories might just perish). And I hope you too. :)

Truth is, there's just but one thing that I want to do and that is for time to stay still long enough for me to appreciate all the times spent, all the efforts given, all the tears shed, all the joys shared and all the moments that was magical. Magical; like having good ol' Starbucks. Ok, free advertisment here.

I'm simply typing out whatever runs through my head at this moment of time and it might just not make sense to me in the next second but this is trully me. I don't like to think of what's going to happen next, but sometimes I still do, just want to enjoy the moment thats here. I just want to make the best of now.

Sidetracking, I've gotten Britney's Circus! This is fucking embarassing, but I was caught red handed boogie-ing in the most awfully sexy way in my room, by the kids, really. I shan't go further, anyways sidetracking to what's already being sidetracked, the trip to HMV opened my eyes to many new albums! The Killers' Day and Age has this disco-mambo feel to it, I swear, it's very different from Sawdust, there's Oasis too; which I can easily borrow(right Sporty?), Linkin Park which I'm not a fan of(Scary maybe it's time you listen to something not Korean, again) and there's Keane, Kaiser Chiefs and Dido(remember Stan, Thank You and my favourite Hunter)! I'm such a procarastinator, been wanting to get Madonna's Hard Candy, but till now I've yet to do so(I'm so slow if I get it only now). I shouldn't be even thinking about it right, Madonna's like a music icon, hello Dayana!

And today, I became a good 'mom' and brought the kids out for a movie, Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Kids love fastfood so we lunched at McDonalds and topped it with hot fudge icecream. I finally got one of Nora Roberts's in the library too, but hey, most of the shelves were only half filled. I fed myself(and the kids too) Fried Mars Bars to end the day out, the sugar rush was just what I need. I never really mentioned about the kids, well, one day I will. This is random but I remember doing IKEA shopping, and I was all sexcited to make babies, start a family and do furniture shopping there. LOL!

Damn, this is one helluva long entry. Goodnight world.

Me: So what do you call you bear again?
Boy: Ryu! I told my mommy want to get another bear, a girl one.
Me: Really?
Boy: So that the girl bear can kiss kiss the boy bear, then after that, I can ask mommy buy the mini bears for Ryu(I assumed they’ll be Ryu’s ‘kids’) and the girl bear!
Me: And what did your mommy say?
Boy: She didn’t say anything.